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014: City v Country – Where To Bring Up Kids

Where should you bring up your kids – the city or the country?

As Robbie is moving to the countryside after fifteen years in London we discuss whether the bright lights of the city or the tranquility of the country is the better place to raise your offspring.

Also Sally reveals how much she spent on wine during a recent mini-break, her vast collection of ponies, and why she has a box of Krug lying around on the floor.

Sally’s amazing thing: Woolley Grange Hotel. Sally loved the kid-friendly hotel and would recommend it for anyone with young kids.

Robbie’s amazing thing: Withings Smart Body Analyzer. It’s a wifi-connected weighing machine that connects to your phone and also tells you your body fat, heart rate and even the weather.

Thanks for listening people.

Robbie & Sally xxx


013: Antenatal, Postnatal and Baby Classes

Wondering whether to spend £1000 on NCT classes or go for the free hospital ones? Want to know what Baby Sensory is? Want to know what to do if you get kidnapped by terrorists?

We answer all these question in episode 013 of Milk Faced where we talk about the multitude of classes on offer to the new parent/almost parent.

Link time: We talk about classes run by the National Childbirth Trust (NCT) and Baby Sensory amongst others.

If you want to do your own hostile environment training you can find plenty of companies that offer it.

If you’ve experienced a great class and want to share with the Milk Faced society, e-mail us: hello@milkfaced.co.uk, or tell up on the Milk Faced Facebook Group.

Thanks for putting this into your ears.

Robbie & Sally xxxx


012: Non-parent Special (or Why Parents Are Annoying)

In dark times do you ever dream of a time without children? Well our guests this week are living that dream!

Yes, it’s the Milk Faced Non-parents special. Our guests are two dedicated non-parents, Tristan Rosenfeldt, presenter of The Golf Club podcast, and the renowned journalist Alec Mattinson.

We ask our guests what they find most annoying about parents, so we can all temper our behaviour appropriately.

It is the first Milk Faced ever to include alcohol consumption, which was an excellent addition to the ‘creative process’.

Hope you enjoy listening to some strangers spending an hour telling you how annoying you are.

Thanks for listening,

Robbie and Sally xxx


011: Baby Checklists & Gender Reveal Parties

Do I need to buy a Hermes changing bag with diamond-encrusted baby wipe holder? In episode 011 of Milk Faced, we let you know what you need to buy and what you don’t.

We talk through a list of ‘new baby essentials’ we found on the Mothercare website and discuss whether you really need them, or whether you’d be better off saving up your money for one of Sally’s forty pound bottles of wine. It’s quite a long list so get comfy.

Also, gender reveal parties. Robbie had never heard of these before this week, so former New Yorker Sally explains what they are and why they’re the worst thing to ever happen to humanity. If you’re considering a gender reveal party, or want to grow increasingly angry at the concept, then why not read 8 hot ideas for your gender reveal party.

In the Postbag we meet a girl raised by pugs, answer a burning question about pavement treasure, and get educated about the horrors of Beatrix Potter.

If you enjoyed this episode of Milk Faced then why not subscribe on iTunes? Or leave us a nice rating to help other people find it?

Thanks for your attention. At ease soldiers.

Robbie & Sally xxx


010: Kids TV Role Models

Peppa Pig endorses drink driving, according to one of our listeners. Big claim.

In today’s show we discuss which kids TV characters are good role models for our offspring, following an e-mail from a reader whose core beliefs had been rocked by a recent episode of Peppa Pig. It’s generally just us talking about kids telly and nursery rhymes. Oh, and Sally makes an outrageous claim about Sleeping Beauty being sexually assaulted.

Here’s Robbie’s blog about Postman Pat being deeply sad that we mention in the show.

Sally’s amazing thing: Pabobo. It’s a musical light star thing that Sally GUARANTEES will make your child go to sleep.

Robbie’s amazing thing: Bret Easton Ellis’ podcast. It’s absolutely amazing. He talks about culture with incredible guests, then reads out adverts which is one of the weirdest things in the world.

Thanks for listening. Why not share the glory of Milk Faced with your friends so we can get some money off the internet or something. Thanks, we owe you a pint.

Robbie & Sally xxx


009 – Testicular Torsion

The NHS tried to cut Robbie’s balls off. That’s the bulk of this week’s show. Good luck with that.

Milk Faced regular Amy Overy sent us this link to someone talking about BA’s alternative car seat style basinet substitute.

We spoke about this blog post by Mohamed El-Erian about giving up his role as CEO of PIMCO where Sally spoke of her dream of being an F1 driver and discussed work/life balance and sexism.

Our main discussion point though was Robbie nearly having his testicles removed by the NHS in 2010. If you ever have someone at risk of unwanted testicular amputation, Logopress do a lovely line of tees.

And if you want some entertainment, open a bottle of wine and watch The Onion’s Sex House.

Thanks for listening, especially to all our Hong Kong listeners who are choosing Milk Faced over democracy. We love you.

Robbie & Sally xxx


008 – Awkward Questions From Children

“Daddy, what makes people die?”

Today we discuss awkward questions from children, the pain difference between being kicked in the balls and childbirth, and more chat about how much alcohol you can drink and still breastfeed.

We discuss a video about what’s more painful, being kicked in the balls or childbirth.

After an awkward question from Robbie’s daughter we talk about the options for dealing with awkward questions.

Sally’s amazing thing: Bad Neighbours. It’s a movie starring Seth Rogan and the bloke from High School Musical. Sal found it rather funny and very relevant for new parents.

Robbie’s amazing thing: Plenty More by Yotam Ottolenghi. If you’re interested in eating more vegetables and less meat, it’s well worth buying. It’s got lots of great recipes, even if quite a few have five million ingredients.

If you’ve had an awkward conversation with a child and want to share with the class, e-mail us at hello@milkfaced.co.uk.

Also, why not leave us a nice review on the iTunes? We’d really appreciate it mister.

Robbie and Sally xxx


007 – Drinking Alcohol and Parenting

Today on Milk Faced we chatted about all things alcohol, mostly due to Robbie being hungover.

We also had a bumper postbag, including some travelling with kids tips. If you’re interested in taking a pushchair on a plane, Milk Faced reader Amy Overy suggested the BABYZEN YOYO. She also suggested drugging your kid with Calpol but we’re not linking to that.

We briefly discussed an excellent New York Times article about poverty and parenting, and whether parenting is really harder than The Deadliest Catch.

This week’s show was drinking themed. If you want to buy a breathalyser this is the one Robbie used for his scientific experiment.

Drop us a line: hello@milkfaced.co.uk. or visit the Milk Faced Facebook Group.


Robbie & Sally xx

P.S. Just in case you’re an impressionable type, can we just be clear that it probably isn’t a great idea to get drunk and look after children. Know your limits readers.


Milk Faced 006 – Baby Names

This week’s episode is all about names.

Firstly, a reader e-mailed in to ask for advice on what name parent should use for their children’s private parts.

The main ‘feature’ however was a discussion about baby names following a viewer e-mail about the worst name they’ve ever heard.

If you live in England or Wales and are interested in learning how popular different names are, you can find the Office for National Statistics data for boys and girls.

Robbie’s amazing thing: The Wine Society. It’s a members’ co-operative which has been going since 1874 and was recently named Wine Club of the Year. Perfect if you find that drinking takes the edge off parenting.

Sally didn’t have one because she is lazy.

Thanks for listening and thanks to all the awesome people who have written us nice iTunes reviews. Drop us an e-mail with any thoughts on naming or indeed anything else at hello@milkfaced.co.uk, or visit the Facebook group and leave a message there.

Robbie & Sally xxx


Milk Faced 005 – Vasectomy Special

Vasectomies aren’t just having your testicles cut off. Who knew? In this episode Adam Sturdy, a man who has just been neutered, to tell us all about the procedure.

Adam also accuses Princess Diana of being involved in selling photos of children to Eastern European ad agencies, but we’ll gloss over that.

We had a nice e-mail from a viewer called Erin in NYC who told us about the Flyebaby Infant Airplane Seat which is a rival (a poor rival) for Robbie’s soon to be patented basinet tent.

Adam chatted about a product that stops people reclining airline seats.

We’re certain that our podcast will answer all your vasectomy questions but if not, then you can read the NHS guidelines or this helpful factsheet.

You may hear some strange noises in the background. That was Sally’s cleaner vacuuming. Or Adam’s daughter trying to stop her dad talking about his balls.

Adam’s amazing thing: Pensions. We let our guest pick this month’s amazing thing and we got our most practical answer yet. If you want to start a pension for your child you can learn all about it in this article.

Thanks for listening and thanks to all the lovely people who have written us nice iTunes reviews. Drop us an e-mail with any ideas for a birthing playlist, vasectomy stories or indeed anything else at hello@milkfaced.co.uk, or visit the Facebook group and leave a message there.

Robbie & Sally xxx