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Take Out The Fucking Car Seat

Take out the fucking car seat.Car Seat

Just do it. It will change your life.

You took it out that one time when you had to pick up your gran and replacing it fucking destroyed you. I get that. I don’t care.

Take out the fucking car seat.

The other day I had to take out the fucking car seat because I had to drive a client for work. Replacing it? Fucking horrific.

Then I had to take it out again a week later, and do you know what?

It was easy.

Take out the fucking car seat.

IT WILL CHANGE YOUR FUCKING LIFE.

Remember when the bloke from Halfords fitted it in two minutes? That could be you. Two goes and you’ll be set for life.

Take out the fucking car seat.

Hark back to yonder time before you had the fucking car seat. Remember when you could fit four or five adults in your car? When someone asking for a lift would be greeted by a “yeah, sure” rather than some bullshit excuse about how you’ve got some imaginary bit of furniture in the back because you’re too ashamed to say you’re a grown adult and you can’t take out the fucking car seat. You want those heady days of youth back?

Take out the fucking car seat.

Not the ISOFIX one. Anyone can take out the ISOFIX one. Take out the one you bought when you didn’t understand these things, the one that would eventually betray you, occupying your Vauxhall Vectra long after you’ve done your fiftieth soft play trip of half term like a sick stained Judas Iscariot.

Take out the fucking car seat.

You get your car back. You get your freedom back.

You get your dignity back.

Take out the fucking car seat.

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1 comment… add one
  • Mark Strawbridge October 14, 2015, 10:09 pm

    Judging by recent reports most retail employees don’t know who to fit it in properly either! I just sit on it, and once the journey has ended walk around with a dead buttock for a bit.

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